Comparisons are odious.

Where’er you plant a rose my lad, a thistle cannot grow.

A gentleman is one who uses a butter knife while dining alone.​

​Apparently most people spend 80% of their lives either thinking about what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow.

Perhaps the advice that has made my life what it has been is:

Living practically all my married life in small country towns, I have had to make my own life choices. My qualifications did not fit outside Melbourne so my life after the children were at school was spent doing all sorts of things, paid and unpaid, that presented themselves.

We started a ‘Hello Group’ for Mums to have a weekly cuppa together.  A friend and I decided to teach ourselves to play the flute and had fun with duets. I had a steep learning curve with the job of Youth Worker for six years. I taught Indonesian for over twenty years with the qualified teacher sitting in on the sessions. I took a Welcome Pack to anyone who had just moved to our town. And so it went on.

​​

Carmyl Winkler
​October 2025

As a young person growing up on a farm in New Zealand I had a wide-open space to explore, climb trees in the bush, no TV, no mobile phones, and we were always told to get outside and play. That was unless you were helping Dad on the farm with milking, feeding animals and many other tasks.

I don’t think I became aware of my “rushing behaviour” as there were no mentors or minders to remind you that you would do irrational “rushed” activities.

The awareness came slowly and usually when I was handling machinery such as tractors and farm implements where I had a responsibility to complete a job without incident.

After I left home to attend university, I was also rash in behaviours such as drinking too much, smoking, and again no person to reprimand such behaviours.

When I was training to be a military pilot some of my decisions when flying almost resulted in failing the course.

Then I met the woman of my dreams who became my wife of many years. Karin later became a registered Psychologist and before that she was aware of my “Spectrum” behaviours. One example was when building our furniture, a Welsh Dresser, I was rushing to finish the job and hung the doors badly, as they were not square! Karin told me to slow down and finish the job, Slowly!!!

After completing her psychology training and becoming a practitioner Karin provided me with some well needed advice.

“Stop, Think, Do”

Stop what you are doing, think about the outcome and then do the task. This still rings in my ears every day when doing any activity such as golfing and any work around the house and property. The results are very satisfying in that I can appreciate a job well done.

This is only a short passage, and I enjoy the reflection and the outcomes achieved through my life journey through – Stop, Think, Do


James Davey
​August 2025

I think the best advice I have ever received is – ‘ Treat others as you would like others to treat you’. 

I wasn’t sure what it meant when I first heard it.  How do I treat others the way I wanted to be treated by them?  Some people were so horrible, how could I be so horrible to them? That didn’t seem right.

I thought more about the advice and worked on it - I didn’t have to treat them the same way they treated me; I had to work on treating them how I wanted them to treat me.  Forget about being bullied, try to see the nice side of that person, to think about how I would like to be treated by them.

To make myself feel better, I treated them nicely, though to some, all that did was make them treat me worse.  I had to be brave, keep being nice and not let them upset me.

I was a lily-white ‘Pommy Bastard’ with an English accent who had come to Australia with my family to make a new life, a better life.

I remembered what my schoolmate had said to me before I left England:

“When you get there, nobody will know you, nobody will know anything about you, or how tough you are.  So, start straight away by being tough.  If you are being bullied, challenge them, take them on, and most times they will back away and show you a bit more respect.  If they don’t, well, learn to fight.”

Unfortunately, my schoolmate was wrong.  I was never a fighter.  I soon lost my Pommy accent and spoke like an Aussie (…another piece of advice – ‘If you can’t beat them, join them!) 

‘Treating others as I would like them to treat me’ applied well after I left school and joined the workforce.  Some people were so rude – I just had to treat them as I wanted to be treated by them.  If their attitude changed, great, if it didn’t, well, this was their problem.  I wasn’t going to change to keep them happy - I knew I was respectful, honest and obliging.

I was also advised by my parents to ‘accept people as they are’.  I do.  It doesn’t mean I have to like the way they are.  I try, as much as I can, to be nice, to be polite and respectful to others.  It’s not always reciprocated, but I look at this as their problem, not mine.

Someone once suggested that I run into trouble because I want everyone to like me. I know not everyone will, but I still try to do right by everyone.  If it doesn’t work out, so be it—I’ve done my best.  I remind myself that ‘You can’t please everyone all the time’ and ‘It’s okay not to be everyone’s cup of tea’!

I have used the advice to ‘treat others as I would like to them to treat me’ for most of my life.  It seems to have worked. 

It’s a bit like smiling at someone, and they smile back.  Hopefully.


Tom Barnaby
August 2025

​In late 1959 or early 1960 I had occasion to visit a neurologist because I was suffering ‘nervous debility’.  I was working extremely long hours for Victorian Producers Co-op at Wodonga.  We were having markets every Monday (Pig & Calf Markets), Tuesday (Cattle Market), Wednesday (Sheep Market Albury).  Market days were generally long, but the nights were the concern.  Bookwork involved working after tea until approximately 11.30 pm every Monday till Thursday.  This was constant.  My days began at 7-7.30 am, knock off for a beer at 5.30 pm; have tea at the pub where I was boarding; return to work at 7.30 pm and consistently work until 11.30 pm Monday to Thursday, Friday was my night off.  I would go with Tom & Mick Flanagan to an Albury pub every Friday night. 
 
I experienced a persistent rash on my arms, was waking up intermittently at night as if in fright and not really sleeping. Dr. Grant of Wodonga made an appointment for me with a specialist in Baylis Street, Wagga Wagga.  I do not recall his name.  Tom and Mick, my two mates, took the day off work and drove me to Wagga.  The Specialist put me through a thorough gruelling and told me I was over-working.  His verdict – “nervous debility”.  His advice – “study accountancy and work for yourself”.
 
My employer was considerate and realised the seriousness of my condition.  I was transferred to Head Office in Melbourne and took on the role of assistant internal auditor.  This involved routine daily work, 8.45 am till 5.15 pm and regular in-hour visits to the company’s 14 country branches.  I registered with the Australian Society of Accountants to do a correspondence course but admit that I was an ordinary student.  I was easily distracted.  I boarded with my brother John’s family in Prahran and really enjoyed life for the next two years.
 
Out of the blue management offered me a transfer to the Benalla Branch of the VPC.  It was experiencing some difficulties and the manager, Mr Kevin Donnelly, with whom I had previously worked, asked that I be transferred to take charge of the office administration.
 
I must admit that in my 15 years with the company I had never found any real satisfaction with my job.  I could never see any future.  I continued in Benalla until 1966 and changed jobs.  On being married, I again changed jobs and worked for Jim Smith in his accounting practice.
 
Here was the dormant opportunity.  Study Accountancy and work for yourself.  In 1968 I renewed my interest in studying accountancy in earnest.   The Australian Society of Accountants was phasing out its examination.  To comply with its requirements, I would need to study 100 hours per subject to ensure a pass.  This necessitated 20 hours per week which I strictly adhered to.
 
November 1972 came around.  I had one subject to pass to qualify as an accountant.  By chance it was the termination of the Society’s exams.
 
In all my study years I had not known one student who had passed Auditing on first try.  The pressure was on!
 
The date for the examination came around!  I sat for Auditing for the first time!  60% pass mark!  58% was not good enough!  I failed! The Society was not conducting any more examinations.  I was in Limbo!
 
Then fate smiled.  The Society compromised with the Bendigo Institute of Technology, now La Trobe University, and it was agreed that I could do a 12-month course with the Institute.  This involved travelling three times per week from Benalla to Bendigo for the year, and then doing their final examination.  A strenuous year.  Fortunately, the examination was a breeze after my tutored year.  I passed with 87%.
 
“Study accountancy!”  Accomplished.
 
“Work for yourself!”  Still to come!
 
Then came the toughest year of all.  Qualify as a Chartered Accountant to become eligible for partnership.  With hard work this was achieved.  I borrowed money to enable the purchase of a 1/3rd interest in James H. Smith & Co., thence Smith O’Shannessy & Co.  I was working for myself.
 
Subsequently I was awarded a Fellowship of the Chartered Institute and increased my interest in the partnership to 50%.
 
Thanks to Neurologist Specialist (name unknown), Baylis Street, Wagga Wagga.   I had followed your advice!
 
“STUDY ACCOUNTANCY, AND WORK FOR YOURSELF”
 
 
Ray O’Shannessy, FCA., CPA

Originally written for the topic 'Turning Point' presented on 19 April 2020

As a young child, I soon became used to spending most weekends at Badminton stadiums.
 
My mother was a natural sportswoman, and after the war she took up playing at the local hall. In just a couple of years she proved too good and soon found herself playing for Essex in the county team. This meant travelling around the countryside.
 
Dad accompanied us most times, but when he didn’t, I used to follow the only other child who was there. He was the youngest brother of two of the men in Mum’s team and was at least 11 years old.
 
Stan was great, he never made me feel a pest. He always had a book in his hand and often read to me. I thought he was wonderful, and the crush I had on him lasted for years.
 
On my eleventh birthday Stan presented me with a package, tied up in a large yellow bow. He said his brothers, Arthur and Peter, had helped him choose the book. It was leather bound and called ‘The Princess’.
 
What a wonderful surprise.  My eyes filled with tears as I thanked him. Inside he had written birthday wishes and congratulated me on my 11+ entry into Secondary School. But the special words he added have stayed with me all my life –
 
’Look, Learn and Inwardly Digest’
 
In 1993, my younger son Mark played badminton for Australia in the World Championships in Birmingham. My husband John was meeting a lot of my relatives for the first time, and life was good.
 
Seeing our son play badminton internationally for the first time was such a buzz, but a tap on my shoulder in the stadium, in front of the Australian team, was an even bigger buzz. There was Arthur, now the World Badminton President, hugging me in front of everyone. He invited the whole team and administrators, to attend an afternoon tea on the last day of the tournament. To say I was gobsmacked doesn’t describe the emotion I felt.
 
As the last match finished, an official came to show us up to the Auditorium. Our officials, parents, John and I proceeded through the doors. We all walked through the middle of green and gold players on our left, and the red, white and blue players on the right.
 
Arthur greeted me with another bear hug, before I saw Bess his wife, brother Peter and wife Marjory. Then to my surprise Stan walked up.  Suddenly I felt very shy. He grabbed me and twirled around, then introduced me to his wife Sophie. What a wonderful day, I felt like a Princess.
 
Over the years I’ve given lots of books to family and friends. None have left my hands without the words Stan wrote in the book he gave me on my eleventh birthday -
 
‘Look, Learn and Inwardly Digest’
 
Jan Nicholls
August 2025